Still July.

Never got any pictures posted from that concert in June at Concordia.  But there are some on the web somewhere.  Also on FB.  No worries.  Only grace.

A friend asked me something today.  Actually she asked it Monday and I just saw it today.  She is a young mom.  5 kids aged 8 and under.  I never had that many that young.  When my oldest was 8 I had 4.  When she turned 10 I was pregnant with twins.  Anyhow, this friend asked me if I could go back and do this stage different, what would it be?  Then she asked, what is your biggest struggle now?  First of all, I feel honored that anyone would care about what I think.  I guess I am in that stage now with three teenagers and they all think I am stupid.  Stupid hair.  Stupid clothes.  Sigh.  But, if I could go back to NY when my oldest was 8, well, I really do not want to go back there.  I was arrogant.  I thought I had it all together.  I thought I had so much to say to young moms.  Just do what I do and life will be great.  Stuck up.  I really do not like who I was then.  I guess I wish I could go back to that me and give me a kick in the rear.  Naw, not a kick in the rear.  I really should have given me a hug.  Because that is what I really needed.  A hug.  If I could go back to that stage right now, I would hug my kids.  I would hug my husband.  And I would love him better.  But I am so glad that I do not have to look back and wish.  Because God's grace covers it all.  He takes all our mistakes and makes them miracles.  He redeems the years of locusts.  Joel 2:25.
My biggest struggle now.  I believe it has been my biggest struggle since infancy.  Giving Him control over my life.  Putting God in the center.  The kids.  They will grow.  I have tried to come to terms with that.  After having my heart ripped out this fall when Dorothee left, I realized I have put too much of myself into these kids.  They will go away.  That is God's plan.  I need to spend more time at my Savior's feet and loving Him. I need to spend more time helping my husband and loving him.  Yes, when the kids were younger, they DEMANDED my time.  But I should have let others help me.  The older kids should have helped me more with the younger kids.  They did, but they could have done more.  But again, I am thinking back and I should not.  Grace.  Grace covers everything.  I set my eyes on the prize.